How I came to Salvation...

NIV--John 6:44 "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws them..." ~Jesus


It was a typical weekday night. I was off from work and sitting at my computer. I was looking for inspiration for my next project & hanging out on the scrapbooking site I was designing for at the time, when I came across a post by our site creator.

It was a prayer request. Her father had been taken to the hospital and was very ill. So ill, in fact, that she thought he might not be able to hang on much longer. She was asking for those of us who pray to please pray for her father.

Well, I had prayed for many things in my lifetime & never really thought it did any good before, but I really wanted to do whatever I could to comfort my friend at this difficult time. So I decided to send up a prayer for her father. I didn't know how much good it would do, but even if God didn't hear me, what could it hurt?

So I closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed that God be with my friend & the rest of her family. I prayed that He would comfort them no matter what happened to her father. I prayed that if her dad did pass away, that God take him quickly and that he not have to suffer needlessly. I pleaded with God for Him to be there for my friend, thinking out loud..."She really needs You right now Lord...", and just then it occurred to me, "this whole world needs You...I need You."
The moment I said out loud that I needed Him, my emotions overwhelmed me. Tears flooded my eyes. I'd never admitted that I needed God in my life before. Not to Him or me. I had always depended on myself or my family, hardly giving God a second thought. I broke down right there at my computer, unable to hold back the tears. I cried out, "God, if you can hear me I need You. I don't want to live like this anymore."

I felt so many things at that moment, as I came to the realization that I didn't want to live another day without Him. Living life on my own terms had left me feeling alone, empty & never satisfied with any accomplishment no matter how hard I worked. I felt deep remorse and regret for the way I had been living, for all the horrible things I'd done & for my rebellious attitude toward the truth. But mostly for my stubborn pride which had kept me from ever thinking I needed Him before now.

Just then as I was sobbing so violently I felt as if I was falling apart, something I can't explain happened. A strange, soothing presence came over me. It felt like giant arms being wrapped around me, encompassing my entire body...like a huge comforting blanket. Within seconds my tears slowed & my body stopped shaking. It was as if God was telling me "I'm here my child. I hear you & I know exactly what you need. It's going to be okay."

As my emotions settled, a thought came to my mind, 'Get up, go into the other room & ask Paul to pray with you.' I'd never had a thought like that before. I'd never prayed with Paul, (my then live-in boyfriend). But Paul was a believer. He had told me so when we'd first met. He had shared with me how he had been saved at the age of 23 and how God had changed his life, though he wasn't living for God at this point in time and he struggled w/that a great deal.

I thought to myself, 'Should I really do this? Did this really just happen? Am I going crazy here?'. As I thought about everything that had just happened while I was sitting there in front of my computer, another thought occurred to me. 'There's no way what just happened didn't just happen. It would be crazy for me to pretend it didn't. What have you got to lose Jami?'. So I got up, I wiped the tears from my eyes & I went into the other room.

Paul was asleep w/his little boy in our room. I went over to him & gently woke him up. I told him I needed his help and had something important to tell him. I asked if he could put J to bed in the other room so we could talk. I'm sure the look on my face alone told him it was serious. He got right up, asking me what had happened & if I was okay. I told him I was fine but that I had something important I needed to share with him. Immediately he took J and put him 2 bed. He came back looking worried and asked "What happened?"

I told him I didn't exactly know how to explain it, but that something strange had just happened to me while I was on the computer. I proceeded to tell him what I had just experienced. He listened very patiently as I described what had taken place. When I was finished I asked Paul if he would read me some scripture from his bible. I didn't know what to do next, but I had a feeling Paul would know. Ever since I'd found out he was a believer and heard his stories of what God had done in his life, I'd known that if anyone could lead me to the Lord one day, it was him. His faith in God, despite his circumstances & the life choices he'd made, had always been an inspiration to me.

Paul picked up one of his bibles and opened it. One of the first verses he read to me was from the book of Matthew..."Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." (NKJV Matt 5:6). I don't remember everything he read, but he read to me for a while and then I read some to myself. While I was reading the tears came flooding back. I kept thinking about all the bad things I'd done in my life, all the hurtful, painful experiences I'd been through that had practically turned my heart to stone and left me bitter & incapable of forgiveness. I was so tired of living that way.

In the midst of my thoughts I heard Paul speaking to me. He asked if he could pray for me. Again I figured, 'what could it hurt?', so I said "sure." He took my hand and started to pray. I couldn't tell you his exact words, (this took place a little over 19 months ago), but what I do remember is that it was the most beautiful, heartfelt prayer I'd ever heard anyone pray, ever. It was very humbling to have the man I love speak to God on my behalf like that. When he was finished, I knew exactly what I needed to do next.

I squeezed his hand and began to pray to God myself. I told Him exactly how I felt...that I was so tired of living life without Him & that I was ready to live my life from that night on with Him. I told God how sorry I was for all of the horrible sins I had committed against Him & for resisting the Truth for so long. I remembered reading 1 John 1:19..."If we confess our sins, He is faithful & just to forgive us our sins & purify us from all unrighteousness." (NIV). I asked God to forgive me if there was any way that he could and to teach me about forgiveness, to teach me all of His ways. I thanked Him for sending His one & Only Son to be the sacrifice for the sins of the world so that I could be forgiven along with all who come to Him in Christ's name. There was a lot more tears...I'm normally pretty emotional and this was probably the most emotional night of my life, so I don't remember much else after I finished praying.

The next morning when I woke up, I had such a craving to know Jesus. To read about his life, his ministry, etc. I had never before wanted to know so much about him. Later that day Paul & I were out running some errands when I asked him if he'd take me to get my own bible. He had a half dozen or more at our apartment, but I wanted one that was my own. I ended up picking out a New King James Version Scofield Study Bible. I read it for hours that night and Paul read one of his with me for a bit too.

I called my Mom and Dad & told them what happened. I asked them if they would go to church w/me the following weekend. I called my brother and told him what had happened and he was grateful to hear about it. Unbeknownst to me he had been praying for me to come to salvation for a long time. I called my sister though I originally wasn't going to tell her, (her beliefs are contrary to my own when it comes to God), but she asked me, so I told her what had happened. 

To be honest, it didn't matter so much to me what she thought, or anyone else for that matter. I know what happened to me that night and there's no way anyone can tell me it didn't happen or even offer an alternate explanation that would make sense. I wasn't imagining things. I'm certain I felt something come over me and comfort me while I was crying and shaking like I was falling to pieces that night in front of my computer. The only decision I made, was to listen to my heart and step out in faith and accept God's invitation. He was calling me to come home.  I'm just so thankful I had the courage to act when He called. It's the best decision I've ever made and it has changed my life for the better in more ways than I ever imagined it would.

I encourage anyone still reading to stick around and find out exactly what I mean, because that's where the real proof lies--in the changed lives of those who the Father calls. Those who are willing to put aside their pride in self and 'look not to their own understanding', but seek His wisdom and guidance & accept the gift of His marvelous grace in Christ Jesus. I plan to go into detail on just how amazing the love of our Father in heaven is and how it has transformed me into the woman I am today.

So, that's how my new life in Christ began. I would like to encourage others to leave their own testimonies in the comments of this post if they feel the nudge to share as well. If you're long-winded like I am, feel free to leave a link if you like.  ; ]



Until my next post... 

(NIV) Romans 1:16 "I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes...For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith..."

(NIV) Romans 3:21-24 "But now a righteousness from God apart from law has been made known to which the Law & the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."